I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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