We're facebook friends in real life
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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