I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
