I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think my moral compass just broke
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize