Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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