Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
