you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Drunk is not a location!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize