Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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