Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
