There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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