I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize