Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
