Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
