And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
PANTIES FOUND
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