don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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