I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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