I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize