lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize