Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize