youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
