She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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