Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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