Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
