i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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