ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
