Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize