A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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