forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
