I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You ruined the universe
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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