If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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