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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.

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• (760): View more from California

  he just fucked me for my cheese.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming

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