That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
