I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All the doctor said was why
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize