I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
