This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
