my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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