I'm lost and stupid without you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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