I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
