just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
