Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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