Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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