So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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