It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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