9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
