we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
