i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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