i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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