My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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