Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
