I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
