He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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