why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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