Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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