I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
