drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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