wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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