Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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