Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
