I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
