Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
