What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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