I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
