windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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