we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
