I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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